Tag Archives: desire

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The desire to impact and influence our world in lasting and meaningful ways is one of the most important maturations of adulthood.

Erik Erikson, the first developmental psychologist to propose a developmental model covering the entire lifespan from birth to death, called this drive for greater influence generativity. He contrasted this immensely generative, service-oriented stage of life with what he called stagnation. Instead of devoting life to serving the mosaic of humanity, when we are caught in stagnation we remain largely self-centered. Instead of focusing on the broader community, organizational and institutional well-being, we remain fixated on what’s good for “me,” “myself” and of course what’s “mine.”

Yet longitudinal developmental research conducted at Harvard University and spanning over 80 years reveals an interesting fact: If we do not remain selfish enough to take care of ourselves, we cannot be the generative human beings we are supposed to be as we mature into adulthood. The individuals who just give again and again burn out. Because they are not resourcing themselves in the essential ways, they often detract from the larger well-being of their communities, organizations and institutions. Instead of being a brighter exemplar of how to live, those who don’t take care of themselves become reminders of what not to do.

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The Universe planted a dream in your heart, like a bread-crumb marking the path to your own growth and liberation. Whether your heartfelt dream is a red-convertible, writing a novel, or world peace (the sky is the limit!) you can leverage the energy of your desire to attain your dream AND propel your evolution.

Some of us may have learned that desires can be unhealthy or distracting, and many of us have experienced the upsets of becoming too attached. While there is wisdom in being unattached, there is also wisdom (and power!) in our innate tendency to attach, desire, or simply to want something.

Big or small, there is a gap between where you are now and what you want. The space between now and your heartfelt dreams is where the magic is! This is where the growth opportunities live. Navigating this gap is about breaking through obstacles (outer) and resistance (inner) and becoming more You in the process.

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